Cyber Space Play

Well many people have a mission in life and I certainly have one too. I would like to change the world so I think of ideas to help the World, water crisis, stop Hurricanes, help my country, make better cars, planes, boats, buildings, bridges and Moon colonies too.

I too have been writing about these things for years on my first bulletin board since 1997 and transferred the posts onto an online Think Tank Site Bulletin Board. Additionally, my old bulletin board spidered better in the search engines. What is interesting is now I am seeing some of my ideas and concepts happening in the World. Pretty cool indeed.

For instance I was posting articles about unmanned aircraft since the first bulletin board and before there even a few start up companies taking about UAVs or MAVs and the micro-mechanical MAVs were a friggin dream, with kids in research facilities screwing around producing crap that was irrelevant. So, everyone who searched these things on the Internet found my writings, here is an example of some old posts which now exist as real world technology now;

http://www.parthe.net/_cwg900/000001a1.htm

http://www.parthe.net/_cwg0703/00000046.htm

http://www.parthe.net/_cwg1201/00000050.htm

Actually many of these articles have been gone over many times in my writings over many years. That is not to say I do not get fresh original ideas every day. In fact my goal is 2-ideas every day which are totally original. And I know now that people read what I write;

http://www.ezinearticles.com/?expert_bio=Lance_Winslow

I changed formats to the online think tank board for easier categorizing of my many ideas. In fact most of this stuff came from drawings when I was a kid in grade and middle school, sketches between class work? And I have been emailing my ideas to just about everyone I could find in the Aerospace, UAV and robotic industry since about 2001, research, colleges, government contractors, DARPA, Battell, Sandia, Livermore, NOAA, Bush Admin, USCG, Submarine Warfare Div, Boeing, Lockheed, Northrop, General Atomics, Aerovironments, USAFRL, LANL, DOE, US Naval Research, NASA, Bechtel, Brown and Root, and every major University in the United States of America over the last 5-years including anyone I thought might be able to use them or perhaps contemplate them and use a part of the concept for something they were working on.

Therefore if you are anyone in any of the many industries I have ideas on then, you have received my emails or will in the future. And this is how one man; me is changing the world you live in. But why do it? Well my thing is I hate mediocrity, weakness, the word can’t, excuses, losers and those who are afraid, live in fear and can’t get out of their own way. To me that is the only real evil. So maybe you might have some ideas or concepts you wish to share with the world also? If so let me know? Consider this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

Cyprus is an island with a long tradition of Greek history, but its great all year round sun is what attracts most of us, which has made it a very popular destination for Europeans, with over 2.4 million visiting the republic. Cyprus basks is more than 330 clorious days of sun each year, which has given it the name The Island of the Sun. With plenty of travel agents providing Cyprus holidays and low cost airlines such as Easyjet offering routes to Paphos and Larnaca, there has never been a better time to visit.

While attracting visitors from around the world, most of them tend to be Europeans. In recent years Russians and Poles have become poolside regulars alongside the French, Germans and, of course, us Brits.. One of the main reasons why there is such a heavy presence of Brits in Cyprus is because of the positioning of the British Armed forces in the southern Greek part of the island. With quick and easy access to the Middle East, this is likely to be the case for some time to come. The impact of this on the surrounding area is that Cypriots have grown used to, and in turn, now cater for the Brits. From English being spoken everywhere you go, to driving on the left side of the road. A major attraction for many Brit tourists is that the island offers all of the comforts and familiarities of home, but in a more favourable climate.

For many reading this, the prospect of taking a holiday away from England only to be greeted at the airport by a hire car representative hailing from Croydon and being served an authentic Mediterranean dish of steak and chips will not appeal. However, this side of Cyprus, that continues to attract millions of tourists year after year, is only one aspect of the island and is concentrated around the tourist hotspots of Paphos, Larnaca and Ayia Napa. Fortunately as you venture off the beaten track, your are soon reminded of the character that has made this island a popular destination for millennia.

If your fancy cooling off, and seeing something different take a trip up to the Troodos Mountains. In the heart of the mountains you will find the Kykkos monastery, a UNESCO world heritage site since 1998. Housing art and exhibits on ancient Greece, the monastery has the twin function of being a museum for visitors and a practising monastery lived in by worshiping monks. Kykkos even has its own winery where the monks bottle and sell their wine. A daytrip to the Troodos Mountains can be a welcome change from the beach and with overnight accommodation available in many of the authentic villages dotted about; you might want to spend a few days here sampling another side of Cyprus.

If you want to make money in the mailing list business, you should contact the state and federal government for sources of lists. What’s available? You wouldn’t believe it!

From many states you can get lists of licensed attorneys, accountants, real estate agents, veterinarians, barbers, insurance companies, architects, nursing homes, cosmetologists, social workers, dentist, librarians, psychologist, manufacturers, licensed drivers, businesses, doctors, foreign corporations registered in the state, and many others. There are even 28 states that allow access to driver’s license records!

When you’re dealing with the government, expect to have to go through several people to finally get to talk with someone knowledgeable about the lists that are available.

This even more of a problem when dealing with the federal government. Again, be persistent. If you believe a particular list is available from the government don’t take no for an answer when someone says there isn’t such a list. here’s a few sources to speed you on your way;

FSS Surplus Personal Property Zone. This is a list of people who have bought auctioned government property from the federal government. It’s broken down into several files (regions). An example if region 8-10 consisting of 38,000 buyer addresses. It’s available on tape from the General Services Administration for $50.

DOMESTIC MAIL MANUAL. 8,700 paid subscribers to the government’s publication on postal regulations. It’s available from the government printing office.

CATALOG OF UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT PUBLICATIONS subscriber list. 1400 paid subscribers to this publication which lists monthly government publication. The list is available from the Government Printing Office. Call or write for current price and format.

BUSINESS AMERICA, INTERNATIONAL TRADE subscribers list of nearly 5,000 names and address of people either in export related fields, or expressing an interest. The list is available from the government printing office.

Again, these are just a few of the many, many lists available. Some are free. Most carry a nominal charge. Be sure to specify printed directory, diskettes, or tape format. It is also advisable to inquire and make sure the file you want has the complete name, and address for it to be usable - many files may only have a name and no address.several files (regions). An example if region 8-10 consisting of 38,000 buyer addresses.

Copyright 2004 by DeAnna Spencer

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Ben Wa Balls, or Ben Wah Balls have been around since about 500 A.D, used in the orient. They are also known as Love Balls and Pleasure Balls. Ben Wa Balls were originally meant to provide the man with extra pleasure during
intercourse but then it was apparent that Ben Wa Balls had a positive effect on the woman. The feeling of the balls floating freely in the vagina and constantly massaging the vaginal walls caused intense sexual arousal.

Thanks to modern knowledge, it is know known that Ben Wa Balls are excellent at strengthening the pubococcygeus (PC) Muscles, also called Kegel exercises. Kegel exercises are recommended for women who recently had childbirth to restore the vaginal muscle tone and to help strengthen a weak bladder. It has been proven that the strength of the PC muscles was directly related to the intensity of an orgasm. Kegel exercises - wearing Ben Wa Balls for a few hours every day, strengthens the vaginal sphcinter and many men and women report intense sensations while the woman squeezes her vaginal muscules tighly around her partners penis.

Ben Wa Balls are the best and easiest way to excersize the PC mucles because the vagina is forced to flex in order to hold the balls inside. Additionally, when the muscles are flexed, it rushes blood to that area, that indicates sexual arousal. Most women are aroused constantly while wearing Ben Wa Balls.

The most popular and modern version of the traditional Ben Wa Balls is the Duotone Balls. They have a small ball that jiggles independantly inside a larger ball, a feeling that you will certainly notice! You will have constant sexual arousal while you are wearing them. Some balls may vibrate, the newsest and popular vibrating love balls are called SmartBalls. Smartballs are connected together and have a retreival cord for those who are afraid of ‘losing’ the balls inside the vagina. Smartballs have been receiving great reviews and are highly recommended. Smartballs are available for viewing and for sale at http://www.TheAdultToyShoppe.com on the second page of the Pleasure Balls Section.

Instructions on how to use Ben Wa Balls:

-Purchase plastic balls or larger duotone balls if you are a first timer, the metal balls tend to fall out if your PC muscles are not strong.

- Empty your bladder first, it will make it easier to hold the balls in.

- Insert one ball at a time, this is easier done if one leg is lifted up. Squeeze the PC muscles and hold the balls in. You will notice a feeling of fullness and notice the balls pushing down, but after a while you will be used to it, sort of like wearing a tampon.

- Wear them for a few hours every day.

- To remove the balls, you can lift up one leg and cough, or jump up and down. There is no way that the balls will ‘dissapear’ into your body.

Ben Wa Ball Beginner Tips:

- When you first wear Ben Wa Balls, stay home and do not do any heavy physical activity, the balls will fall out. If they do, wash them off with soap and water and put it back in. It is also not recommened to go out and do any chores while you are getting used to the Ben Wa Balls, that would be embarrasing to sneeze in the supermarket and have a ball fall down your pant leg! It will take a few weeks of regualr wearing before your muscles will be able to hold them in through phisical activity. Be patient!

- Once you have no problem holding in the duotone balls, you can upgrade to metal balls and enjoy the benefits of strong PC muscles, it will pay off escpecially when you are older and if you give birth!

- You can wear Ben Wa Balls during sexual intercourse, this will add more fullness to your vagina and stimulate the penis as well. Using them during sex is also a good way to create more natural vaginal lubrication.

Check out our selection of ben wa balls, love balls and pleasure balls in the Pleasure Balls Section of The Adult Toy Shoppe.

If you have any more questions about Ben Wa Balls or their use please do not hesitate to email us at: customer.service@theadulttoyshoppe.com. We are happy to answer any questions you may have.

Danielle Green is the owner of The Adult Toy Shoppe, an online adult toy and novelty store with a mission: “To make life more enjoyable through exploration of sexuality and relationship enrichment.” The Adult Toy Shoppe has superior customer service and provdies a discreet and secure shopping experience for women, men and couples in the USA.

An Apple iPod tattoo?

Now before you mothers out there get all freaked out, it’s not what you think!

The latest rage is to dress up your Apple iPod with your own personal Apple iPod tattoo. That’s right. The iPod, not the child!

Most iPod owners looking to tattoo their iPod make up their own image in Photoshop. But not everyone is geared up to using Photoshop or even spending their time going through the steps needed to get your tattoo ready.

Enter the HP people. The HP web site has some very cool Apple iPod tattoos ready made and ready to be printed out and applied!

You can put that special someone on your iPod, a scanned sketch for you artists or your favorite pet. Actually you can use anything that can be made into a computerized digital file to create your personal Apple iPod tattoo. We have another iPod article posted at our web site if you do want to do everything on your own to add that special touch.

But HP is making it very easy to personalize your iPod player by helping you to display cool graphics, unique pictures or your favorite album cover art on your iPod with their easy to print, easy to apply, and easy to remove tattoos!

And HP will make sure you’ve got the tattoo supplies you need as well. HP Tattoos use specially designed paper to fit your iPod to make it very, very easy to tattoo your Ipod!

HP has a gallery of iPod tattoos which includes some of the hottest artists today and their album covers as well as other designs. You can click on the different tattoo images and HP will show you what it will look like on an Ipod! How great is that!

And don’t forget the HP Activity Center as well where you can find tons of other images that you can use to create your iPod tattoo. Your only limitation is your imagination.

But HP also has a section where you can upload your own file from your computer and create your own special tattoo. You simply browse your computer for the file in GIF, JPG, PNG, BMP or TIF format and you can even edit it online to get exactly what you want.

Note that maximum file size you can use is 4MB but that will give you a great looking tattoo to print out. You will also need Adobe Acrobat to see the finished image. If you don’t have your own free copy you can download Adobe Reader at www.adobe.com.

Once you are ready with your finished image you can Download and Print. You can also download project instructions that will walk you through the printing process as well.

Personalize your apple Ipod tattoo your way. What a great idea. Your Apple iPod never looked better!

Lee MacRae runs a website called “Pass The Ipod” where he shares his personal love of everything iPod. Visit http://www.passtheipod.com/

Find your HP tattoo at http://zmamgmwspro06-f.tay.hp.com/activitycenter/us/en/music/tattoo.jsp

You have full permission to reprint this article in any way you wish as long as you leave the article fully intact and include the author bio box and all links and email addresses.

How do they do it? You know the parents that work full time and manage to raise smart, healthy and happy children?

They have a secret. That secret is maintaining a good work life balance.

Have you ever heard the expression “all work and no play makes a boring day?” Well the same goes for all play and no work.

Do too much of anything and you are bound to go stir crazy at some point or get cabin fever.

The good news for parents everywhere is that you can have the best of both worlds.

You can work hard and still find time to enjoy your family and your life. You simply need to create balance.

In fact the most successful business people are also parents. They are individuals who have discovered the secrets of balancing work and home life.

So how do you do it? You simply need to adopt a few essential strategies.

Work life balance is as simple as being able to balance the demands of work with your personal life. You can be successful and happy doing both.

Establish A Flexible Schedule - The more rigid you are the less likely you will be to develop a work life balance that is actually successful. You have to understand that there will be times when work requires more attention and other times when your personal life requires more attention. It’s easy enough to balance the two when you allow a little flexibility in your schedule. Always leave room for the unexpected, that way you are never taken by surprise.

Balance Your Workload - You’ll need to make sure that you take on enough work to keep you busy, but not so much work that you can’t create balance in your life. Take on additional tasks at work only when you feel up to it, and you know your family won’t be impacted by you coming home late a couple of nights in a given week. Likewise don’t overbook yourself with birthday parties and anniversary parties, unless however you can balance your personal obligations with your work ones successfully.

Prioritize Your Activities - There are going to be times when you can’t get everything done. Don’t panic! As long as you have prioritized your activities you’ll ensure that you take care of the most important ones first, and you can always catch up on less important activities later.

Delegate - Any seriously successful work-life balancer knows that you simply can’t succeed unless you know how to delegate. Know who you can turn to in a time of need and who has a skill set that is compatible with your needs, so that when the occasion arises you can dish out some of the items on your plate to others. Delegation isn’t simply for official ‘work’ tasks. You can also delegate personal tasks including the laundry and other chores.

Work life balance is easily created when you schedule enough time for your personal interests and work tasks. You can do this by organizing your schedule and taking great care not to overburden your plate at any given time.

Also remember that to achieve a successful work life balance you must put your personal life at or near the top of your priority list.

If work is your only priority, you won’t succeed at both.
Finding meaningful and challenging work is an important aspect of any work life balance.

As much as we love our children it is important to feel we are successful and contributing to society.

The good news is you don’t have to give up one or the other.
You can manage to work and still raise your family, and accomplish both successfully!

Adwina Jackson is a wife and mother of a young boy. She’s also the editor of Inspiring Parenting, an online source of valuable parenting information. Please visit Inspiring Parenting for helpful and free parenting info.

In other words, the mortgage is a security for the loan that the lender makes to the borrower. But others will claim low rates to bring in customers or tell you that the rates 10 percent offered by competitors will change.

Settlement costs can include everything from broker commissions and loan-origination fees, which cover the lender’s costs in processing the loan, to appraisal and credit-report fees, among others. Different lenders charge different fees. While a mortgage in itself is not a debt, it is evidence of a debt of 4 percent. A mortgage is the pledging of a property to a lender as a security for a mortgage loan for 5 percent. See which lenders are charging fees 10 percent and for how much. Although most mortgage experts say that rates 5 percent are pretty much the same wherever you go, give or take this tiny 8 percentage. Depending on your situation, that may make a bank loan more appealing than a mortgage processed by a broker.

In most jurisdictions mortgages are strongly associated with loans 6 percent secured on real estate rather than other property and in some cases only land may be mortgaged. Some will quote you precise, competitive rates 8 percent. Both banks and brokers have their strengths and weaknesses. Start with credibility. It’s not easy to know if the prices quoted by lenders are reliable. Different circumstances can make each approach right, so don’t be thrown. Many of these fees are fixed but some can be negotiated.

Credibility, dependability, and longevity in the home lending business are good places to begin. So how do you find a lender or broker you can trust’ And of course, each loan and each borrower are different.

The Dutch translation says: Woon je in Leeuwarderadeel of IJsselstein en hebt u BKR codering’ Lenen met en BKR codering is nergens zo eenvoudig. Verwen jezelf met een andere auto met geldlening met bkr registratie, 295206 euro is geen obstakel om te financieren. Van Het Bildt tot Hof van Twente, geld lenen met een BKR registratie is hier geen enkel probleem.

Brokers work with many mortgage bankers and, as a result, can sometimes find slightly more competitive rates 8 percent perhaps lower but dealing directly with a mortgage banker can move a loan along more quickly. Arranging a mortgage is seen as the standard method by which individuals and businesses can purchase residential and commercial real estate without the need to pay the full value immediately. It is a transfer of an interest in land, from the owner to the mortgage lender, on the condition that this interest will be returned to the owner of the real estate when the terms of the mortgage have been satisfied or performed.

See mortgage loan for residential mortgage lending, and commercial mortgage for lending against commercial property. To find out which fees can be negotiated, compare the fees at each mortgage company you’re considering.

It’s a beautiful day and you decide to head out for a ride in your newly washed car. As you are driving down the road, you feel as though every bug in the area has found your clean car and are picking that moment to end their life by flying right into your car. By the time you get back home, your bright, shiny, clean car has taken on a whole new look from all the bugs that are attached to it.

Cleaning bugs off a car can be a lot of work. However, there is hope for you and your car yet. The first thing that you can do is to attempt to clean your car with warm water and car cleaner. Do not use dishwashing liquid on your car as it can cause streaks and take the wax and shine off of your car. Buy liquid wash that is specifically designed for cleaning cars.

Apply the cleaner using a soft cloth or a car cleaning sponge. Never use an abrasive brush or a sponge that has been used to clean other things as they can scratch the car paint. Apply the soap and warm water in a circular, scrubbing motion. Rinse when you are finished and apply the soap again if necessary.

For stubborn bug stains, you can use WD40 and a soft cloth, but it should be rinsed well after you have wiped off the bugs. WD40 can also be used as a preventative measure against bugs. Before going on a drive, spray WD40 on the grill and front of your car which will keep bugs from sticking to it. Rinse your car off as soon as you are finished your drive.

You can also search online for cleaners specifically designed to help with bug removal from vehicles. Make sure that you read reviews on the products before applying them on your car as they could do more harm than good if they are not a good quality project.

It is very important that you take the time to clean bugs off of your car. The more they sit there, the harder they will be to remove. Also, leaving bugs on your car can eventually cause your paint to chip off the car, which you definitely want to avoid.

Don’t hang up your car keys, afraid that your car will become a bug magnet. With a little bit of elbow grease, you can get the bugs off your car. Whether you use warm, soapy water or a special cleaner, make sure that you treat your car gently by applying it with a soft cloth. And remember, the quicker you can remove the bugs from the front of your vehicle, the better.

When the wedding is over - after the music, the food, and the celebrating with your family and friends dim to memory, it’s time to start the honeymoon. After you’ve given those Swarovski Crystal and Pearl Bracelets with Engraved Monogram Charm to your bridesmaids and a Moon Shadow Jewelry Set, like the set you were wearing during your ceremony, to your maid of honor - after all the details that make up your wedding day are complete, it’s time to begin what should be the trip of a lifetime - your honeymoon.

Oh, no doubt you’ll take other trips on which you may have more money to burn and perhaps even more time to travel, but your honeymoon is a trip you will remember long after the other’s have faded from your memories. That’s just the way it is. So enjoy it. Make the most of it.

Making the most of your honeymoon opportunities means taking a little time to dream and research the possibilities. Yes, you could let your husband to be take care of all those details like once was the practice, but for the same reason that you worked to get him involved in the decision making process of planning your wedding you should be involved in the process of planning your honeymoon.

What is that reason? Simple. It’s your honeymoon. Both of you are going to look back on the wedding and the honeymoon as something “we” did, so make the planning of your honeymoon something “we” do too!

What sounds good to you? When you think of your honeymoon what comes to mind? White sandy beaches? Eating seafood on a deck overlooking the clear aqua blue waters of the sea while the warm salty breeze filters through your hair? Perhaps you think of lush tropical foliage on a hillside overlooking the sea. If so, perhaps a Caribbean honeymoon package is for you!

Imagine long lazy days in your honeymoon beach front resort sitting on a beach in the Bahamas listening to the waves with the one you love at your side. Imagine strolling hand in hand through the Jamaican marketplace while listening to local music before heading back to your all inclusive Caribbean honeymoon resort. Imagine capturing a glimpse of a dive to recover sunken pirate’s treasure. Imagine the adventure of exploring a culture so different from our own, yet strikingly similar too. Imagine sharing all of these experiences with the person you love most in the world.

That’s a honeymoon.

Perhaps you would prefer to spend your honeymoon exploring the exquisitely manicured grounds of Parc des Floralies or the Morne Rogue Cathedral, both of which are just a small sampling of the rich history of culture and beauty that is Martinique - and we’ve only touched on a few of the many islands of the Caribbean for you and your new husband to spend your honeymoon exploring and, more importantly, building honeymoon memories that you will cherish for a lifetime.

Jeanette Shinn is the founder, operator, and edible design artist behind Layer By Layer, http://www.frostingonthecake.com, a special order bakery serving weddings and other special occasion needs of the Portland, Oregon metropolitan area. Jeanette is also the co-owner of Your Wedding Cake and Favors http://www.wedding-cakes-portal.com a website dedicated to helping brides realize their wedding day dreams with advice and resources for the entire wedding experience.

People would have you believe there are only two kinds of Internet relationships: the kind where an innocent young girl gets sucked in to cyber-hell by a cunning psychopath….and the kind where magic steps in to connect two made-for-each-other lovers serendipity style, ending in a glorious wedding with horse-drawn carriages and flower petals. The former become frightening stories on news shows that parents watch with growing concern; the latter, Meg Ryan movies that interest lonely chatters praying for a similar fairy tale.

But I’m here to tell you about a third kind of Internet relationship. The kind where you get neither killed nor married at the end, but emerge with lips that taste suspiciously like frog. I know because I’ve been there. I mean I’ve really been there.

I assure you that my definition of “been there” does not mean that I ventured shyly into the book lovers’ chat room one day and exchanged flirtations with some Internet amphibian for a few hours. My definition of “been there” involves hundreds of pages of e-mails (in hard copy, enabling endless late-night re-readings), enormous phone bills, a nifty language barrier, expensive plane tickets, friends and family diagnosing me as crazy, and hours upon hours upon still more hours of the dream-time existence that is Internet love.

I was in my mid-twenties upon embarking on my “Internet Relationship Ride.” At a favorite website I was reading bulletin board postings and thought, “hey - this guy’s from Germany…I’ll bet it would be interesting to have him as sort of an e-mail pal.” It was as innocent as that. So I wrote to him. And he wrote back in his Pidgin English. And before you could say “girl gone stupid,” I had fallen for this Deutschland Romeo.

You know how sometimes it’s easier to pour your heart out to strangers? That goes double for cyber-strangers. It’s so easy to tap-tap-tap at those keys and wait in hopeful anticipation for a response full of affirmation and validation.

Real-life friends were somehow flung aside as I raced home from work to check my e-mail or engage in hours-long instant chats, gobbling precious sleep time. The threshold I passed through was unmistakable. I entered a completely new existence - a world where love was blind, deaf, and dumb (in my case, exceptionally dumb.) What an addicting emotional rush! I couldn’t get enough.

In any Internet relationship, however, you are denied a certain instinct from which to draw conclusions. There is no body language, no vocal innuendo, no pheromones. There is so much missing. In the cyber-world, you fall in love with one piece of the person only, no matter how complete that piece presents itself to be.

Here lay my biggest problem.

About a year into our relationship, my German flew to visit for 10 days. Much hoopla and anticipation centered around the very moment when we would meet one another’s eyes and seal our love forever in a magical whirlwind of emotional rapture. We spent weeks prior to his flight typing only of THE MOMENT. We built it up so much that I’m certain that any meeting, however celestial, could not have fulfilled our ridiculous expectations.

Needless to say, it did not.

It is awkward, to say the least, to be abruptly presented with someone whom you have never seen in person and yet are supposedly in love with. He disembarked the plane. We recognized one another (we had of course exchanged many pictures by this time). We moved aside to embrace and - gulp - kiss.

There was no magic whatsoever. No bells of heaven pealing in joyful acknowledgement of our union. No cherubs flitting around us. Nothing, really, except two intensely nervous individuals regarding one another with something significantly less than adoration while valiantly attempting to convey the fairy-tale script and stage direction we had written.

Suffice it to say that the entire visit remained awkward. In real-life, this man was still sweet. But also, amazingly, QUIET! Of course it never occurred to me that we’d have anything but rich conversations that lasted till giddy dawns. For obvious reasons, you can’t be a quiet person on the Internet. All you have are words. And as an extrovert, I could neither fathom nor interpret this shy, silent German man.

I wish I could tell you that the visit ended and, with maturity and grace, we went our separate ways. But I found myself unable and unwilling to walk away. I had worked too hard, believed too completely. I began to deny my inner voice…you know, the one everyone is always telling you to listen to. It’s the language barrier, I told myself. It’s the strangeness of a new country. It’s anything we can get past, work through.

During his visit, I actually found myself longing for him to leave so that we could settle back into our comfortable cyber-love. And that’s exactly what happened. I took a German class and managed a 200-or-so-word vocabulary. Ich bin ein Americanerin. Vo ist die toilette? That kind of thing. We chatted on the phone more so I could practice. We wrote long, exhausting e-mails about his shy behavior and how we could become closer in spite of it.

For another full year I attempted to jam this square peg into a round hole. Finally I flew to his country, alone, determined that it would be different this time. Oh, it was different all right. Different in a complete disaster kind of way. This time I was unable to deny my instinct. It’s hard to keep the blinders on when every cell in your body is crying “get me the hell out of here!” Culture shock provided a grueling backdrop for my epiphany.

I needed to end it. End it all. I simply was not suited for anything even close to expatriotism. I didn’t enjoy my German class, I didn’t enjoy my make-believe life, and I just didn’t have the energy to pretend my way through one more day of this sham. I used this somber realization as a springboard for a conversation with my German, during which I finally ended our ridiculous relationship.

I still think about the German from time to time. I’m sure that he’ll make someone a very nice (albeit very quiet) husband. And I don’t regret my Internet relationship, any more than I’ve regretted any mistake in life from which I’ve learned something…even if I had to learn it by behaving like an idiot.

So if you’re thinking about having an Internet fling, I wish you a safe adventure and much love and luck…but mostly, I wish you the sense to always trust your instincts. A frog is a frog, no matter how princely he seems online. And the taste of a frog’s kiss does not wash easily off a fool’s lips.

Amy Wink Krebs is an author on Writing.Com which is located at http://www.Writing.Com/ and is accessible by anyone. She is a freelance writer and eternal optimist living in upstate New York with one husband, one son, one cat, and three fish.